Conflict between technical professionals and traditional managers is inevitable, because you want different things. Worse, most employees feel that when conflicts arise, their only options are either to go along with what the manager wants, or leave. Neither option gets you what you want when you want it.

This talk discusses a third option: how to build a relationship over time that makes your boss an ally. The goal is to build a productive relationship that allows you to push back against decisions you don't like, while maintaining a constructive, loyalty-based relationship that satisfies both sides. Topics will include the two messages to keep in mind whenever you interact with the boss, how to use solutions to the iterated Prisoner's Dilemma problem to resolve conflicts, how to structure communications in way most likely to be heard and understood, and more.